The Tao Of RolePlay

The Tao of Roleplay

The Essence of Roleplay

There are many styles of roleplay—short posts, paragraph-style, semi-para, mixed—but all share a fundamental truth: in each case, it is all RP. In RP, you operate your avatar as a puppet, it is NOT an extension of yourself, and the reason for this distinction is the TAO.

You operate your avatar just as a puppeteer would operate a puppet in a puppet story. It does not matter how much of yourself you put into the puppet, or the story, the puppet will never be you, and you will never be the puppet.

Much in the same way a writer, or other storyteller, can and will put their characters in danger with no danger to themselves, you will do the same in roleplay. The writer can have their character face dragons, fall in love, experience betrayal, or even die, all while the writer remains safe in their chair. This separation is the cornerstone of healthy roleplay.

But it's not the same, is it? The difference lies in the immersive nature of roleplay. While reading about a character's experiences, you're an observer. In roleplay, you're an active participant, creating the story in real-time with others. This immediacy creates a unique challenge that many new roleplayers struggle with.

While there are many documents on How-To Roleplay and what roleplay is, there is more—something hidden, something that will jump up and bite you right in the tender spot when you least expect it. This hidden element is the emotional connection that forms despite knowing it's "just a game."

The OOC Problem

OOC is out of character, or putting your Real Life self into your avatar. Except for the most important of things like ((Fire, Phone, etc)), OOC chatter of any kind is to be avoided at all costs.

Inserting OOC chatter into a roleplay is basically the same as yelling "CUT" on a movie set or ending a chapter in a book. It shatters the carefully constructed illusion, breaking the flow of the story and pulling everyone out of the moment. If you want to completely derail a roleplay, OOC chat will usually do it faster than anything else.

People who don't RolePlay, or have never been exposed to it, are OOC or even worse, Mixed Role, all the time. They will discuss how they shot you with their laser in one sentence and the specs of their computer in the next. They usually don't emote or use other scene descriptive text. Their conversations jump between character dialogue and real-life concerns without distinction, creating a confusing experience for serious roleplayers.

People who try to RolePlay in IM are missing the point. IM's are for OOC chatter, and some very specific RP scenarios, otherwise all roleplay is in local chat. What is the point of writing a book no one else can read? Roleplay is a collaborative storytelling experience, and when it happens in private messages, the rest of the community is excluded from the narrative.

Understanding the TAO

There is something that usually causes mental distress to new roleplayers: separation. The ability to separate the IC from the OOC, the RL from the SL. This is especially evident when they are involved in romantic or erotic roleplay. These players, while their roleplay skills might be fine, let it seep into their RL or OOC life.

This separation is one of the most challenging aspects of roleplay for newcomers. When your character experiences strong emotions—love, anger, betrayal, desire—it's natural to feel echoes of those emotions yourself. The problem arises when you can't distinguish between your character's feelings and your own.

It really can't be helped, until they develop the Tao. They will let the roleplay affect them emotionally, it will work its way into their RL. Then, when the RP ends, they are hurt. This is not good, but it is normal. This emotional bleed is something nearly every roleplayer experiences at some point, especially during intense or romantic storylines.

If you let it, the emotional stress from immersing yourself in an addictive roleplay will tear you up inside. It can affect your real relationships, your mood, and your ability to function in daily life. Some people become so engrossed in their roleplay that they neglect real-world responsibilities.

If you are in an RL relationship, you should not need to hide your roleplay from your partner, or feel guilty about it in any way. Ideally your partner would play here too, but that is not always practical. Roleplay is a healthy form of creative expression, not something to be ashamed of, but open communication with your real-life partner about your roleplay activities is essential.

If you have the Tao, you realize, in more than just an intellectual way, that:

• My RP CHARACTER is attacking your RP CHARACTER, I am not attacking you.
• My RP CHARACTER is 25 and lives in California, I am not, and do not.
• My RP CHARACTER thinks your RP CHARACTER is cute, nice, whatever. I don't know you, and probably never will.
• My RP CHARACTER just rode you like a rental. I don't know you, and probably wouldn't.
• My RP CHARACTER will do and say things that your RP CHARACTER may find offensive. I probably won't, and am generally nice.
• I will not be upset at the things your CHARACTER does, my CHARACTER might, but only if it finds out.

This understanding is not just intellectual—it's emotional. It's the ability to watch your character experience heartbreak without feeling heartbroken yourself. It's the capacity to separate your character's identity from your own, even while investing emotionally in the roleplay.

Developing the TAO

The Tao of Roleplay isn't something you can learn overnight. It develops through experience, self-awareness, and practice. Here are some ways to cultivate this essential skill:

1. **Create transition rituals**: Before logging in for roleplay, take a moment to mentally prepare yourself. When logging out, have a routine to help you shift back to your real-life mindset.

2. **Maintain perspective**: Remind yourself regularly that this is a collaborative storytelling experience, not real life.

3. **Set boundaries**: Know your emotional limits and don't be afraid to step back from intense roleplay when needed.

4. **Practice separation**: Consciously remind yourself that your character's experiences are not your experiences.

5. **Communicate**: If you're feeling emotional bleed, talk to your roleplay partners OOC (in private messages) about what's happening.

6. **Take breaks**: If you find yourself becoming too emotionally invested, step away from roleplay for a while.

7. **Reflect**: After intense roleplay sessions, take time to process the experience and separate your feelings from your character's feelings.

The Tao is not about detachment—it's about proper connection. It's about being able to invest emotionally in your character without losing yourself in the process. It's the ability to fully experience roleplay while maintaining the understanding that it's a creative activity, not reality.

When you achieve this balance, you'll find that your roleplay becomes richer, more enjoyable, and less emotionally taxing. You can explore complex storylines and intense emotions without damaging your real-life wellbeing.

And finally, until you develop the Tao, I wish to apologize to everyone past present and future, for any emotional stress that I have or will cause, because of your belief that in some small way any of this might be real.

This apology is not just polite words—it's a recognition that until you achieve this separation, you will inevitably experience emotional distress from roleplay. You will feel hurt when your character is rejected, angry when your character is betrayed, and confused when your character's feelings don't match your own.

If you wish to visit me personally I am at:

• 200, quai Charles de Gaulle
• 69006 Lyon
• France
• Fax: +33 4 72 44 71 63

Just ask for my avatar by name.